As my blog name suggests, my name is not Jamie Marie. It could have been. That's what my mom wanted to name me when I was born. My dad, on the other hand, didn't care for it. So, I wound up with my mother's middle name as my first name and my middle name is shared with about 99.999% of the women in the world!!
I often wonder who Jamie Marie would have been. Would she have taken mechanical drawing in high school and gone on to college and studied to be an architect or an engineer as I wanted to do? That was another thing my dad was against. I wound up taking secretarial courses. Not something I was necessarily happy with. Don't get me wrong, my dad is a wonderful person. Loving, caring and devoted to me and my mom. He was just from the old school that didn't believe women were supposed to do anything except be secretaries or nurses or housewives. Architecture and engineering were "men's" jobs not at all suitable for his daughter. Plus, we didn't have the money to pay for college anyway. But Jamie Marie, she would have found a way. She would have been, I believe, the rebellious sort. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!! She would have gone for it.
Would Jamie Marie have married the man I was engaged to? I rather think she would have. Another one of MY mistakes! I somehow managed to find an abusive, alcoholic drug user who thought work was for other people (me included) but not for him. He always said, "Why work for someone else and make them rich. Work for yourself and you'll get to keep all the money." He could just never leave the bar long enough to start anything! "Why did you marry him?", you may well ask. The crazy thing is that I didn't even know he drank until after we got married. But that's a very long story which I will reserve for another time. Back to Jamie Marie. I do envision her married to my fiance. She would have seen in him that which I did not. She would have married him immediately after graduation from high school. I, on the other hand, wasn't ready to make that commitment. He walked out of my life and within 2 years I married a man who can only be considered Satan's evil twin. The Great Deceiver, the Father of Lies. Yep, that was him! But good old Jamie Marie would be living happily in Florida with the one I let get away. She'd have the minivan and be the ultimate soccer mom/architect/engineer. Multi-tasker extraordinaire! Bummer.
Would Jamie Marie had have 3 incredible sons as I do. Of course she would. The one (actually 3!) good thing that came from the marriage made in Hell is the one thing I know for sure we would have shared. Her sons wouldn't be exactly the same as mine (I wouldn't trade mine for any others on this earth!!) but they would be the light of her life as my sons are the light of mine.
Ah, the elusive Jamie Marie. And they say, "What's in a name?" Maybe a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But if I were Jamie Marie, I know my life would have taken a different track. Come back for me Jamie Marie!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I dont get it, you blame yourself. He is the lowlife that walked out on you. He should be shot, hanged, choked and have his throat cut. You never did anything to hurt anyone (except talk to other people which made him very jealous). He loved you with all his heart, but walked away in search of something else, nobody knows what). I dont understand you blaming yourself? It was his fault, 100%. He didnt deserve the most beautiful creature God put on this planet. He is a lowlife, that probably on a date, fell asleep in your lap.....then blamed it on picking you up at Kmart late at night (or where ever you worked at the time). Then he probably held you and kissed you until wee hours of the morning. But, with all his lowlessness....... I would bet he never drank, did drugs or hurt anyone else
but you. He has lived his life in loneliness and missery missing the days he held you in his arms and kissing you goodnight. You should make him say he is sorry 1 million times over dinner at his expense if you ever see the lowlife.
Whoever he is, he is lucky to have known you, hold you and kiss you.
Post a Comment