I guess it's a good thing that no one reads this blog. I'm sure they would think I'm suicidal. I'm not. My life is spiraling out of control and I don't know where to turn. I feel so helpless. I don't really have anyone to talk to thus the blog entries after such a long time. I've finally gotten to the point that I can't deal with much more.

I am so tired. I just can't take anymore. I'm tired of beating my head against a brick wall day after day after day after day. It never gets any better. I'm tired of beating my brains out trying to figure out how to pay the bills every month. I'm tired of struggling. I'm tired of people telling me to just go out and find a job. That's what I've been trying to do for the past 3 years!!! Unless you're unemployed you will never know what we face. I do have a part time job but it's just not enough to keep things going. I've had to put so much on my credit cards that they are nearly maxed out. I HATE doing that but it's the only way. I'm miserable. I feel like I've let my family down. I feel worthless. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost and I don't know if I can ever find my way back.