One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.
The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a simple leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When the seamstress cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
"Yes!" cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and is always in the best interest of others.
That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
Signed,
All Us Women
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Birthday Calculator
This was fun! Here's what it says about my birthday. What does it say about yours?
20 April 1949
Your date of conception was on or about 28 July 1948 which was a Wednesday.
You were born on a Wednesday
under the astrological sign Aries.
Your Life path number is 11.
Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 6.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2433026.5.
The golden number for 1949 is 12.
The epact number for 1949 is 0.
The year 1949 was not a leap year.
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/29/1949 and ending 2/16/1950.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Ox.
Your Native American Zodiac sign is Beaver; your plant is Wild Clover.
You were born in the Egyptian month of Paony, the second month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).
Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 21 Nisan 5709.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 22 Nisan 5709.
The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.16.15.7.2 which is
12 baktun 16 katun 15 tun 7 uinal 2 kin
The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Wednsday, 21 Jumadiyu'th-Thani 1368 (1368-6-21).
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 17 April 1949.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 24 April 1949.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 2 March 1949.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 5 June 1949.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 12 June 1949.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 24 September 1949.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 14 April 1949.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 1 March 1949.
As of 1/10/2007 8:59:30 AM EST
You are 57 years old.
You are 693 months old.
You are 3,012 weeks old.
You are 21,084 days old.
You are 506,024 hours old.
You are 30,361,499 minutes old.
You are 1,821,689,970 seconds old.
Celebrities who share your birthday:
Joey Lawrence (1976) Carmen Electra (1972) Don Mattingly (1961)
Clint Howard (1959) Luther Vandross (1951) Jessica Lange (1949)
Ryan O'Neal (1941) George Takei (1940) Nina Foch (1924)
Lionel Hampton (1908) Harold Lloyd (1893) Joan Mir¢ (1893)
Adolf Hitler (1889)
Top songs of 1949
Riders In the Sky by Vaughn Monroe That Lucky Old Sun by Frankie Laine
Cruising Down the River by Blue Barron (also Russ Morgan) A Little Bird Told Me by Evelyn Knight
Mule Train by Frankie Laine Some Enchanted Evening by Perry Como
You're Breaking My Heart by Vic Damone Slippin' Around by Margaret Whiting & Jimmy Wakely
Forever and Ever by Russ Morgan A You're Adorable by Perry Como
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 8.25205479452055 years old. (You old hound dog, you!)
There are 100 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 58 candles.
Those 58 candles produce 58 BTUs,
or 14,616 calories of heat (that's only 14.6160 food Calories!) .
You can boil 6.63 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1949 there were approximately 2.8 million births in the US.
In 1949 the US population was approximately 131,669,275 people, 44.2 persons per square mile.
In 1949 in the US there were approximately 1,595,879 marriages (12.1%) and 264,000 divorces (2%)
In 1949 in the US there were approximately 1,417,000 deaths (10.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.
In 1949 the population of Australia was approximately 8,045,570.
In 1949 there were approximately 181,261 births in Australia.
In 1949 in Australia there were approximately 72,999 marriages and 6,572 divorces.
In 1949 in Australia there were approximately 75,260 deaths.
Your birthstone is Diamond
The Mystical properties of Diamond
Diamonds are said to increase personal clarity to help one see things clearly as well as be straight-forward and honest. Supposedly, the higher quality the diamond, the better it is supports these qualities.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Opal, Quartz, White Sapphire
Your birth tree is
Maple, Independence of Mind
No ordinary person, full imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-respect, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, many complexes, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.
There are 349 days till Christmas 2007!
There are 362 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you were
born was in its last quarter.
20 April 1949
Your date of conception was on or about 28 July 1948 which was a Wednesday.
You were born on a Wednesday
under the astrological sign Aries.
Your Life path number is 11.
Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 6.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2433026.5.
The golden number for 1949 is 12.
The epact number for 1949 is 0.
The year 1949 was not a leap year.
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/29/1949 and ending 2/16/1950.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Ox.
Your Native American Zodiac sign is Beaver; your plant is Wild Clover.
You were born in the Egyptian month of Paony, the second month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).
Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 21 Nisan 5709.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 22 Nisan 5709.
The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.16.15.7.2 which is
12 baktun 16 katun 15 tun 7 uinal 2 kin
The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Wednsday, 21 Jumadiyu'th-Thani 1368 (1368-6-21).
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 17 April 1949.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 24 April 1949.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 2 March 1949.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 5 June 1949.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 12 June 1949.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 24 September 1949.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 14 April 1949.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 1 March 1949.
As of 1/10/2007 8:59:30 AM EST
You are 57 years old.
You are 693 months old.
You are 3,012 weeks old.
You are 21,084 days old.
You are 506,024 hours old.
You are 30,361,499 minutes old.
You are 1,821,689,970 seconds old.
Celebrities who share your birthday:
Joey Lawrence (1976) Carmen Electra (1972) Don Mattingly (1961)
Clint Howard (1959) Luther Vandross (1951) Jessica Lange (1949)
Ryan O'Neal (1941) George Takei (1940) Nina Foch (1924)
Lionel Hampton (1908) Harold Lloyd (1893) Joan Mir¢ (1893)
Adolf Hitler (1889)
Top songs of 1949
Riders In the Sky by Vaughn Monroe That Lucky Old Sun by Frankie Laine
Cruising Down the River by Blue Barron (also Russ Morgan) A Little Bird Told Me by Evelyn Knight
Mule Train by Frankie Laine Some Enchanted Evening by Perry Como
You're Breaking My Heart by Vic Damone Slippin' Around by Margaret Whiting & Jimmy Wakely
Forever and Ever by Russ Morgan A You're Adorable by Perry Como
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 8.25205479452055 years old. (You old hound dog, you!)
There are 100 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 58 candles.
Those 58 candles produce 58 BTUs,
or 14,616 calories of heat (that's only 14.6160 food Calories!) .
You can boil 6.63 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1949 there were approximately 2.8 million births in the US.
In 1949 the US population was approximately 131,669,275 people, 44.2 persons per square mile.
In 1949 in the US there were approximately 1,595,879 marriages (12.1%) and 264,000 divorces (2%)
In 1949 in the US there were approximately 1,417,000 deaths (10.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.
In 1949 the population of Australia was approximately 8,045,570.
In 1949 there were approximately 181,261 births in Australia.
In 1949 in Australia there were approximately 72,999 marriages and 6,572 divorces.
In 1949 in Australia there were approximately 75,260 deaths.
Your birthstone is Diamond
The Mystical properties of Diamond
Diamonds are said to increase personal clarity to help one see things clearly as well as be straight-forward and honest. Supposedly, the higher quality the diamond, the better it is supports these qualities.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Opal, Quartz, White Sapphire
Your birth tree is
Maple, Independence of Mind
No ordinary person, full imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-respect, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, many complexes, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.
There are 349 days till Christmas 2007!
There are 362 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you were
born was in its last quarter.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
It Sucks To Be Me
As I have posted previously, I am in the middle of a nasty divorce. Things had been looking up for the past few months. My soon-to-be-ex and I went through mediation and finally reached an agreement on ownership of our former home. I am supposed to take possession and make monthly payments to him until I have paid his share of the value of the mobile home. Our final hearing is scheduled for January 11. Well, yesterday my oldest son and I decided to just walk around the place and look things over. I could not believe my eyes when we walked around the corner of the house and the freakin' heat and a/c unit is GONE!!!!! Some low-life p-o-s came up, cut the wiring and carried the damn thing off. I am just at the end of my rope. I don't have the money to replace it and we can't live in it without heat and air. Does anyone know of a nearby bridge that I can jump off? I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!!!!!
The last time I saw it:
Monday, January 01, 2007
Miss Beatrice
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes!" she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes!" she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."
A Woman's Brain
A coworker sent me this cute email. I got a pretty good laugh out of it, hope you will too! If you know who designed this let me know and I'll certainly credit them!
Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works ? Well .... it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:
Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.
Good thing a man's brain requires only two balls.
Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works ? Well .... it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:
Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.
Good thing a man's brain requires only two balls.
Back to the old blog
Well, I tried Blog Charm for a while and things went pretty well. Now, it's decided not to publish my posts. So, I'm back to the old faithful blog.
I know I've sorely neglected my poor little blog. Things have been crazy the last couple of months. My divorce is still pending. The day before the hearing was to be held, my attorney's secretary called and said the hearing was postponed because the judge's mother passed away. So, that's rescheduled for January 11. I will be so glad when this is over. In addition to that, I've been working nearly 60 hours a week at my job, trying to help my son with his job hunt and helping my parents out around their house whenever I can. I guess I'm just tired.
And, I guess I'm a tad depressed too. Even after the divorce goes through my two youngest sons and I won't be able to move back into our house until at least one of them finds a job to help pay the bills. As much as I hate to do it, I'm taking one of them to McDonalds to apply. Not that there's anything wrong with working at Mickey D's, don't get me wrong. It's just that he worked so hard during his 4 years in college to get good grades so he could get a good job. Every where he applies it's the same thing...no experience. Well, how the hell do you get experience if no one will give you the opportunity to work??? It really just pisses me off big time.
Well, enough complaining. I'm gonna try to get back in the swing and keep my blog up-to-date. Wish me luck!
Happy New Year to one and all!!!
I know I've sorely neglected my poor little blog. Things have been crazy the last couple of months. My divorce is still pending. The day before the hearing was to be held, my attorney's secretary called and said the hearing was postponed because the judge's mother passed away. So, that's rescheduled for January 11. I will be so glad when this is over. In addition to that, I've been working nearly 60 hours a week at my job, trying to help my son with his job hunt and helping my parents out around their house whenever I can. I guess I'm just tired.
And, I guess I'm a tad depressed too. Even after the divorce goes through my two youngest sons and I won't be able to move back into our house until at least one of them finds a job to help pay the bills. As much as I hate to do it, I'm taking one of them to McDonalds to apply. Not that there's anything wrong with working at Mickey D's, don't get me wrong. It's just that he worked so hard during his 4 years in college to get good grades so he could get a good job. Every where he applies it's the same thing...no experience. Well, how the hell do you get experience if no one will give you the opportunity to work??? It really just pisses me off big time.
Well, enough complaining. I'm gonna try to get back in the swing and keep my blog up-to-date. Wish me luck!
Happy New Year to one and all!!!
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