Nicole Kidman marries Keith Urban

Some gals have all the luck. She's rich, gorgeous and she's got Keith Urban too!!!

What was she thinking???

I don't know what was going through Connie Chung's mind when she thought of this but this is positively horrific. I would think that what credibility she may have had just suffered a massive hit!

Why Women Live Longer Than Men

Only a man could come up with this contraption!

Foiled Burglar Sues For Emotional Distress

I don't know what this guy is smokin' but it seems to me he's lucky they didn't kill him with his own gun. This is a frivolous lawsuit if ever I saw one. There should be some way to keep this kind of nutcase from clogging up our already overloaded judicial system. Shouldn't any lawsuit be disallowed by virtue of the fact he was convicted of the crime? Our tax dollars once again going down the drain.

Pop Tarts???

After reading this, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Why would anyone steal Pop Tarts? Was he stealing just for kicks or was he hungry and couldn't come up with a better way to get food? A really strange situation.

Huh?

I work in the Shipping Department (actually, I AM the Shipping Department) of a mid-sized company. This is an actual question asked by a Customer Service Rep (college education, former teacher...natural blonde):

CSR: If I ship a package today (Thursday) by UPS Next Day Air, when will it get there?

Me: Uh...tomorrow (DUH!!! Next Day Air...get it...NEXT Day)

CSR: Tomorrow or Saturday at the latest?

Me: No...tomorrow (WTF??? What part of NEXT...DAY...AIR is givin' ya a problem here?)

CSR: Oh, okay! (giggle, giggle)

As she bounced away in her blissful ignorance I was left with mouth agape wondering how the HELL she finds her way out of the parking lot in the afternoon. Dumb as a box of hair.

Green Dog

Here's another interesting email I received. I don't go in for the "send this email to 46 people in the next 5 seconds or you'll have bad luck for 40 years!!!!!" kind of thing but I did agree with some of the things:

You have been tagged by the Green Dog!
,-._,-.
\/)"(\/
(_o_)

Ruff!!!!!!

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them, knowing you can' t have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over; smile because it happened.

11. There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard; the best things come when you least expect them to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

Dog and God

One of my dog loving friends sent this to me today. I think all dog lovers can relate to the problems our canine friends have:

Even if you don't have a dog, you gotta love this one. Everyone should have a dog or 3...

TO: GOD:
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, my last two questions.

Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

Noisy blog?

I had a comment yesterday from an anonymous poster complaining about the "noise" on my blog. Actually the comment was as follows:

Do you have any idea how annoying that noise is on your blog, and how 99% of people dislike that sort of thing? I guess you don't, or you would not have it on your blog...

Yep, I'm aware the music is a bit much. But, if you scroll down the page, you'll find a cute little video involving cats. I really like the video (and cats) and have no plans to remove it. To anyone who may be annoyed by it, I offer my sincere apologies. I don't always like the audio I come across on some blogs but I mute it and continue reading. I really doesn't seem like a huge deal to me. I do appreciate any and all comments even the Anonymous posters!